April 30 - Under 350!!!

I weighed in at 349.8 this morning. Woohoo!!! This was my first mini-goal I had set for myself. When I started at 395, it seemed like it would take forever. It has only taken 3.5 months or so. Not bad!!

I also no longer hurt!!! A friend who is a nurse thinks I may have had adhesions. (Abdominal adhesions are bands of tissue that form between abdominal tissues and organs. Normally, internal tissues and organs have slippery surfaces, which allow them to shift easily as the body moves. Adhesions cause tissues and organs to stick together.) Well, apparently, when I was so sick, I may have ripped them. Which is a good thing!! It hurt at the time, but I was already hurting, so no biggie! 


I woke up yesterday morning not hurting! I'm so excited. I feel so much better. I've lost just over 45 pounds. And I feel great! My normal clothes are pretty baggie. But I don't really want to do much about new clothes until I've gotten into an exercise routine. I'd love to wait until I lose another 50, but I think I would have to start tying a rope around my waist. The other thing is that I need to go through my closet and group my clothes by size so that I can transition into the next smaller size more easily. And I am pitching my 4X and 5X clothes!! Well, donating. I know that I have friends and my mother who will happily adjust any clothes I would like. But, I don't want to keep anything that is above a 3X. 


I guess, to me, normal stores carry 3X. 4X or 5X is really fat. Probably totally weird mental thing. But, I don't care!!! When I decide that a 4X or 5X is too big for me, it gets washed and put in the box. I have a feeling that, for a while, I will be taking those boxes to donate pretty frequently!!! Those will be happy days!!!


And, when my black knit pants are too loose, they are gone!!! That is all I wear!! I have like 7 pairs of them. I am sick of them. I want to wear real pants, again. It has been way too long!!!


And, tomorrow is NATIONAL SCRAPBOOKING DAY!!! Woohoo!!! I am scrapbooking 10am to midnight!! Woohoo!! And then watching the Kentucky Derby at 6pm. Yay!!! I love the first Saturday in May! Scott is taking the kids to the OSU Renaissance Festival. Fun for all!

April 28 - Bread = Bad

Bread is not a good thing. For some reason, I decided last night that a piece of toast sounded really good. Keep in mind that I'm supposed to only be eating pureed food, right now. So, I made two slices of bread. Not even good bread. My children won't eat high fiber bread so we only have cheap-o white in the house. Alex was happy because he walked in just as I finished it so I gave him one slice. I munched on the other slice while I prepared a smoothie. The toast was good. Not wow amazing, good, but good. I made a chocolate/banana/strawberry smoothie. Packet of high protein chocolate shake mix, packet of high protein banana shake mix, 1/3 cup dried non-fat milk for added protein, one banana, 4 strawberries. Yum!!! Took a couple of sips of the smoothie. Then poured half in a glass and put the rest in the frig for later or the next day. Went upstairs to relax for a while.

Started feeling a very tight sensation in my chest. Very tight. Had to go throw up. Well, apparently, the bread got stuck. Everything I took in after the bread came up. On the plus side, puking now is nothing like puking before. You just don't have enough stomach to do it. It is more a matter of helping it back up. So I got to do that for about 45 minutes. The only issue was that it hurt my side even more. So, I'm back to taking it very easy for a few days. I have to keep reminding myself I'm only 4 weeks out of major surgery. If I worked outside the home, I wouldn't be back at work, yet.

Otherwise, I'm doing very well. Having no problems staying away from sweets. I know they will make me sick. So, not even tempted. What I'm having cravings for is Diet Coke. But, knowing what the carbonation would do to my tiny tummy, I won't chance it. And, as my therapist says, when I actually can have it, a long time down the road, it will probably taste nasty!!!

April 21

I have not felt like blogging. I haven't felt like doing much of anything. I'm so tired. I'm sure it is because of my limited diet. It is hard to make sure I get everything in within a day when I'm only awake for a few hours!!!

But, the good news is that I'm doing great! I wasn't feeling like I was doing all that great. I've been grumpy and kind of depressed, honestly.

But, I had my three week appt with Dr. Myer on Monday. I am down to 355. Which is 22 since my pre-op appt and 40 since I made up my mind in January. Which is awesome!! They like to see 20 pounds at the three week appt. I'm at 22. Woohoo!!!!

But, I still was feeling kind of down because I feel like they play with the numbers a little since they say you've lost 22 pounds in three weeks! But, in actuality, I've lost 22 pounds in five weeks because they go by my pre-op appt which was 2 weeks before surgery. But, no matter how you look at it, I've still lost the weight and it's a good thing.

Last night I went to the monthly Bariatric Support Group. They asked for people to share their ah-ha moments since surgery. As I was listening and thinking I realized:

• I was on 8 medications before surgery. I'm on 2. One of those is thyroid and the other is my happy pill. I may never be off either of those. I have left behind 6 medications. In three weeks. WOW!!!
• My blood pressure at the doctor's on Monday was 109/68. That is off of all medications for blood pressure. Wow. 
• I seem to be losing shoe size. My shoes are loose. Well, I've had chronic swelling issues in my feet and ankles. Not anymore!!! I have ankles, again!!!
• I was at a meeting Monday night where we had a dessert buffet as an end of the year celebration. Not even tempted. To the point that I prepared a small plate for the kids and Scott. Didn't even lick my fingers. It rode home on the seat next to me. I was really proud of myself.
• I went to lunch yesterday at Old Bag of Nails with a friend. I had water and a cup of Clam Chowder. The server questioned my choice because she served me before and knew my regular order. I stood strong. I enjoyed it. I savored it. It filled me. My bill was $2.12. Wow!!! And it was a very enjoyable time!!

I need to focus on the positives. The leader of the group suggested that every night you think back on the day and see if there is anything to say congrats to yourself about. No matter how small. I am going to try do that. I also had not refilled my pills for the week yet. Just did an hour ago.

I am changing my life. In small ways and in big ways. I am refocusing my priorities. I have stepped up to a more involved position with Girl Scouts. I am in charge of registration for the Hilliard Service Unit. In addition to co-leading my troop. I am going to step down from PTO positions. I will be active in the schools, but there are so many parents out there who don't do anything and they need to get involved. I also am active with Cub Scouts. It's been hard saying no to things, but I have done it. I have to stay focused so I don't go back to how things were.

April 17

Going to Archiver's today!! Yay!! Get to work on Swap stuff with friends. And, I'm trying something new and kind of scary. Lizzie and her friend are going with me. They are going to roam around at the mall while I am cropping. The friend has a cell phone and the girls are being given specific guidelines on what they are and are not allowed to do. Should be fun for them.

I'm down to 365.7. At least I'm losing. And, I guess, since I've moved very little this week, that isn't bad. My side hurts every time I bend. It feels like it is ripping. No fun. But, I have a feeling that the only way I'm going to get past this is to start walking and working out and just work through the pain. I don't do well with pain. Oh, well. I need to move on so that I can work on this change.

I have been very good about saying no to things. I'm not going to be more involved with Swim Team than just at the meets and practices. However, I will be taking on a larger role with Girl Scouts. It will be a good thing, I think. I will the be Service Unit Registrar. So, I will take in the registrations for all of the troops in Hilliard. Only about 95 troops!! It'll be good. I know. I'm trying to convince myself, too. :)

April 13

Happy Birthday to my Mom. Not that she has the address to this blog. :)

Had an interesting discussion with my therapist this morning about my life and my inimitable ability to over commit myself. We discussed the fact that not only am I changing my life by this surgery, but I need to be changing my life in other ways, too. My daughter seems to feel that I never do anything with or for her. While we all know that isn't true, it is her perception. Maybe I need to be here a little more. To that end, I have decided I will not take a board position with the Swim Team. I will be an active mom. I will not commit to anything that requires time outside of practice or meets. Especially since they are wanting me to commit for next year! I don't even know if Alex will like being on Swim Team!!

I am also going to work on limiting my involvement in other things. I want to be an active and involved mom, but I need to limit my involvement to the actual activity rather than all the behind the scenes stuff. I will continue being the editor for my son's Cub Scout Pack's newsletter and I will continue to be my daughter's Girl Scout Leader. And, I have said that I will take on a larger role in our Girl Scout Service Unit. However, I am going to step back from PTO. I'll go to meetings. I'll help with events. I'm done, for now anyway, with being on the board. I have developed a reputation for always being involved. That's fine. But, I'm tired of being one of the few. I need to take time for myself and my family. And my friends. I am actually going scrapbooking for the day on Saturday. I haven't done that in ages!!! Of course, I will be working on swap items rather than actually scrapbooking, but that's okay. It'll be fun to hang out with some awesome people.

I'm having some definite pain where the drain was. Called the doctor's office and they said that it is normal. There is a large stitch in there and it is not unusual to feel as if it is ripping. It is actually healing. Okay! If you say so!!! In the meantime, I'm happy I didn't use up all my pain pills right after I got home. I'm using them now. Speaking of which, it's time to take another one and go to bed.

April 10

Down to 358. For some reason I thought it would come off a little quicker. But, I guess when I think about the fact that I've lost almost 40 pounds in 3 months, I have been doing pretty well. And I'm only at the beginning. At the three week mark, I'm supposed to start exercising. So, I will call to set that up next week.

I made some Cauliflower and Ham soup the other day. Very yummy!!! The only problem I have is that I can only eat about 4-8 ounces at a time. And, it is supposed to take me about an hour to eat that much. Yeah. I'm having problems going that slowly. If I eat too quickly, I get a way too full feeling. Haven't puked, yet.

Pushed way too hard yesterday. Slept in today until about 1:30. And was back in bed about 3. Very tired. And weak feeling. A double-edged sword. I was in bed so much that I didn't eat/drink much. Which means I've only taken in about 40 grams of protein so far. The soup ended up having about 27 grams per 8 ounce portion. So, I need to get in at least one more ProtiDiet before bed. Shouldn't be too hard. I was actually feeling hungry. First time in two weeks.

Had a meeting for Alex to join the Hilliard Swim Team. That'll be fun. It's only 5 weeks. He has his swim suit. Thankfully it is a thigh length one. I so did not want him to wear a speedo style!!! And a "friend" of mine volunteered me for the Treasurer position. Actually, I would work with the current one this year to step in next year. I wasn't really planning to take on anything too involved. Oh, well. Why not?

One week post-op

I have my one week post-op appt this afternoon. Hopefully they will pull the drain. It seems to be the only thing that really hurts at this point. Also, I haven't lost any weight, yet. Very frustrating!!! Need to ask what the deal is!!

On the plus side, I feel pretty good! In fact, I've been having bites of food. But, as my therapist talked to me about this morning. I need to be following the process. According the the plan, no solid food, yet. So, I need to be on no solid food. I'm on liquids right now which is basically my ProtiDiet drinks or some soup. At least with the ProtiDiet, I know I am getting my full grams of protein. I can totally see continuing to use those as a supplement for a very long time. When 8 ounces includes 15 grams of protein, it makes a big difference!!

I'm still struggling with getting enough water. When you can only take a sip at a time, it is hard. It's supposed to take me an hour to drink my 8oz ProtiDiet. An hour??? Wow. But, that is probably why I'm getting nausea still. sigh.

It's a long slow process. But, if I'm going to be successful, I need to take it long and slow.

Post Surgery!

Tuesday, March 30.
Scott dropped me off at the hospital about 8:30am. He needed to get over to school for his field trip. I checked in and sat down to relax for a bit. About 8:50, they called me back to start pre-op prep. I got into my lovely hospital gown and put on some beautiful white thigh highs. Then sat and waited. My friend who was to sit with me showed up which was awesome! I had someone to chat with! I had all the pre-op stuff like vitals taken and an IV started. The anesthesiologist stopped by to check my airway and if I had any removable dentures or anything. My surgeon, Dr. Myers, and his side-kick, Mike, stopped by to see how I was doing and to make sure I had followed my plan.

I was so thankful that D. was there. I had to wait with very few interruptions until about 11:30. That would have been so hard by myself!!!

They took me back into the surgery room. Put the mask on me and I was out. Don't remember much of that area!

Scott swapped with D. about 1:30 when he got there. He was there when I woke up. Although that is a general term. Not sure I actually woke up much on Tuesday. They didn't have a room ready for me until 7:30. Didn't bother me. :)

Wednesday (3/31) wasn't too bad. I was woken up for vitals and to walk. I was to make a lap of the corridor every two hours during the day and every four hours at night. Didn't make for very good sleeping! The hardest part was having to drink 1 ounce of water every 15 minutes. It doesn't sound like all that much, but it is when your stomach is only about an ounce or two big!!

Dr. Myers and Mike stopped in to check on me. The nausea was to be expected. It will pass. sigh.

I had a terrible time with nausea. Dry heaves mainly. When all you're taking in is water, you don't have much to get rid of. But it hurts!!! And, of course, the pain medication increases the nausea feeling.

A couple of my friends came to visit on Wednesday evening. Fabulous! I love having visitors! Sadly, the first set came while I was dry heaving. Then I got another round of anti-nausea and pain medication. That was the first time I really felt nausea free. I don't know if it was the energy of having friends around or what. But I turned a corner at that point. Scott brought the kids over to see me for a few minutes, too. Didn't stay long but it was good to see them.

Thursday was more of the same. Less nausea. More walking. Was tired of sitting in bed. Reinforced my knowledge that there really is nothing decent on cable.

Scott came about 5pm to pick me up. Wow. What an incredible day!!! It was gorgeous out!! I had been able to see the sunshine, but I didn't realize how nice it was.

So happy to sleep in my own bed. The kids and the dog were ecstatic to see me. Got through the emails and went to bed.

Friday, 4/1. Slept in a bit. I had prepared my ProtiDiet drinks for the day the night before. They each have 15 grams of protein. You mix with water for about 6 ounces. Drink 5 a day. I can actually start adding in puree level foods. Anything that rolls off a spoon like milk. I think I will stick with the ProtiDiet for now. It's hard enough to get 5 of those in per day. Plus extra liquid. Not being able to drink more than a swallow at a time makes it very difficult to drink 64 oz in a day.

Saturday, 4/2. Finally up to sitting long enough to update my blog!! My lower back hurts. I think from laying on it so much. I can't lay on my side. My stomach slides and that hurts.

I had an anesthetic pump in me that I removed this morning. It was a ball about the size of a tennis ball that was full of liquid and it was connected with tubing into a hole in my abdomen. It constantly pushed anesthetic in to decrease the pain at my incisions. Then I had a fanny pack that carried the ball. Kind of weird, but worked well. Pulled it out this morning. Weird. There was about a foot of tubing inside.

I still have the drain in my side. That will be removed at my one week post-op appt. I wish I had taken the office number with me to the hospital so that I could have called from there to make the appt. By the time I got home on Thursday and called, they were closed. And they were closed on Friday, too. Oh, well. It'll work out.

My back and tummy tell me it's time for a nap!!! I sat out on the deck for a bit earlier. Nice sunshine!!!