Dec. 19, 2010

Still can't update my weight. I got the hard cast on Thursday. It is Christmas colored. If I have to have a cast on Christmas, I'm going to be Festive!

Honestly it has been hard to not snack while I've been laid up. I have not been drinking as much as I should and I roll through the kitchen far too often. I try to combat this by putting some liquid protein in whatever I'm drinking and try to have lots of shrimp on hand to snack on.

I guess the tale will be told when I get the cast off on 12/30.

It's also been very hard to accept as much help as I need. Between being able to ask all the help I need from Scott to having friends help me get in and out of the car, it's been trying.  Once the snow fell, it was much harder to get around. I go see Marcy tomorrow, finally. I need it! Then Florida for a week.

Dec. 6, 2010 (was 253.7 11/30/10)

I had the surgery on my ankle last Tuesday. They found another torn tendon when they went in. So, two torn tendons, one split tendon and a whole lot of swelling. But, surgery went well.

Being non-weight bearing has been okay. I'm starting to get very frustrated. I'm sleeping on the first floor in the sofa bed. Which is fine. But, I really need some help getting fresh clothes and getting a sponge bath and washing my hair. Scott has been so busy that I don't want to add one more thing to his list. However...

And, he's doing silly, passive/aggressive things that are driving me nuts. A friend bought me Eclipse as a gift so that I could enjoy it while bed-bound. She dropped it off Saturday evening. Scott was standing there and heard the exchange. So, Sunday, while he's at work, I settle in to watch it, possibly with the kids, and we can't find it. I call him. He put it upstairs by the tv because he knew I had already seen it and he wanted to watch it. I told him that it was given to me as a gift so that I could watch it again while I am stuck in bed.  Oh. Right.

He has done nothing to help me get fresh clothes. Well, I did ask him for one specific shirt to wear to Lizzie's Robotics competition on Saturday. He did bring that down. Along with a second one that is identical except that it is a medium. I then had to ask him to take that one back up.

He keeps moving things so that they are more adjusted for him or something. They're either in my way or out of my reach. Not helpful!! He was home for a few hours last night and I had to move four things out of my way this morning so that I could wheel to the bathroom. I know he just isn't thinking about it. And that is the problem. I'm not having an easy time with it. I could really use some of him thinking about it.

Saturday at Robotics was really hard on my ankle. The best I could do was have it up on a chair or bench straight in front of me. And we were there from 7:30am to 4:30pm. It was very swollen. So, I didn't get up yesterday except to go to the bathroom. Oh, and to make dinner. Grrr...

I will be in a better mood later. Just really feeling unloved. Which I know isn't true. Two friends have brought over meals which have been fantastic. Chicken Enchiladas (which Lizzie loved but Alex barely tried) and Raisin' Cane's Chicken (which both kids loved). Lizzie kept asking last night why no one else was bringing dinner. Which is why I found the instructions for the frozen lasagna. Yes, I'm whining about making dinner and it was just frozen lasagna. But, it was hard from a wheelchair!!! :)

Time to get my meds on board. I'm out of percocet. Luckily I have some Vicodin left. He better give me more pain meds. Not sleeping really well. Using Xanax to get to sleep.

This week should be better. Will be in a hard cast and we don't have much in the evenings. But, I am helping at the Book Fair this week. And we have Girl Scouts Wednesday. And Santa Breakfast Saturday. Sigh. More stuff in my life. Well, what did I expect? I can't put my stuff off and expect it to stay off. It catches up eventually!

256.7 - Nov. 27, 2010

I realized that because of my surgery, it's going to be awhile before I can weigh myself without the wrappings on my leg. Grrr... I've gotten used to weighing myself every morning. I know there are little changes from day to day, but it helps keep me focused.

I have so many things to be thankful for. I have a husband whom I love with all my heart and who loves me. He supports me in all my crazy habits and ideas. He is my best friend.

I have two healthy, beautiful children. They get on my nerves at times, but that's what parenting and childhood is all about. They really are great kids.

I also have loving and supportive extended family. My parents feel so bad they are in Florida when I am going through all this with my ankle. And my in-laws helped me have a very restful and relaxing Thanksgiving.

I am also incredibly thankful that I wore new jammies last night. They were very comfortable and fit great. They were a 1X!!! Woohoo!!!

257.7 - Nov. 24, 2010

Was woken up this morning (8:45) by the nurse from the pre-op appt telling me that since my iron was so low, the anesthesiologist doesn't want to do the surgery. And the surgeon agrees. So, I'm to follow up with my family doctor and get back to them. WHAT???? I have been so focused on getting to this surgery date and then dealing with the 4 weeks afterwards that this blows me out of the water.

I called my doctor. First available appt is Tuesday at 5:30. No. I don't think so. So, I call back and leave a message. I get a return call within 5 minutes. The doctor has put me in at 10, can I make it. Well, yeah!!

Get to my doctor's. She takes a serum level to get more information but won't have the results until Monday. She doesn't know what they want her to do. Putting me on supplements would take 2 months to yield good enough results. So, she says that she will call and see what she can find out.

I spaz out. I've been getting everything ready and warning the teachers. What am I supposed to do now??? And the timing was going to be just barely workable for Florida. Delaying it doesn't help. And what is happening to my ankle in the meantime???

Dr. calls back about 3 (we are already on our way to Troy). She talked to the anesthesia guy and they agreed that I would be okay for surgery and the surgeon is going along with it. No idea if I will get a transfusion during surgery. Don't care!! Just want this to get moving. But, she doesn't know if I'll be able to keep the Tuesday surgery day.

Orthopedic surgeon's office calls. I am still on Tuesday, 11/30. Don't know what time, yet, but that's fine!

Phew!! So, about 6 hours of extreme stress to be back where I started. Grrr...

Oh, well. Have had a very relaxing, family filled Thanksgiving. Weather is no fun so I'm glad we weren't planning to head back until Friday, anyway.

259 - Nov. 21, 2010

Fell off the face of the Earth there for a while, didn't I? Many apologies.

As you can see, the weight is coming off, still. Slowed down appreciably, but that is partly because of food choices, I believe. I have not been as diligent on getting my 100 grams of protein per day. I can always tell when I am low on protein because I don't lose. So, take that as a warning!!! Eat your protein. A friend of mine was showing me all sorts of high protein items she found on a website. It was on bariatricchoice.com. Check it out. I know that I can speak to the ProtiDiet options as being yummy. I purchased a wide variety of their bars to have available and they are all pretty good.

The biggest part of eating right is having it available to eat. If it's hard to prepare, you aren't going to eat it. If it's right there and easy to reach, it will be a first choice. I can now eat just about anything that I want. The key is wanting the right things.

Scott and I went to Mongolian BBQ for lunch the other day. My bowl was mostly shrimp, scallops, and crab. I also put some broccoli, sugar peas, and bean sprouts. While eating, I added a small amount of rice. That lasted me three meals. All of which were high in good protein.

In other news, I was a complete idiot and drank way too much on Trick-or-Treat night. A glass of wine gets me tipsy. Well, instead of listening to my body when it was tipsy, I drank more. I ended up drinking a bottle and a half of wine. By myself. I was having a great time! I was cleaning out my old van and had a fire pit going. Yes, drunk and playing with fire.

Then I visited with a friend up the street. Went in to use their restroom. Was fine on the inside steps. Missed one of the outside steps. Sat down hard on the concrete. I can tell I don't have as much padding!!! My butt hurt for days!! The worst part was that I twisted my ankle.

Didn't realize that it was hurting until it had started swelling. So, I hobbled home, put ice on it, and went to bed. Was worse the next morning. Went to Urgent Care and was told I had a sprained ankle. Put me in an air cast and sent me on my way.

Wednesday, 11/3, flew to Florida to visit my parents. Needless to say my ankle didn't fair too well. Thursday I decided it really wasn't healing the way it should be and went to Urgent Care on Friday. They said I had an avulsion (chip off the ankle) and I should be non-weight bearing. Flew home Saturday taking advantage of the wheelchair services of the airports.

Monday, 11/8, went to Orthopedic Foot & Ankle in Westerville. He wanted an MRI because he felt there was soft tissue damage. Scheduled it for Friday at 5. Well, that was a problem. I was going scrapbooking all weekend! In my defense, leaving early made sure I didn't have to drive. :)

Had the MRI done Thursday morning. Met with the Orthopedic Surgeon on Thursday, 11/18. I ripped the tendon that attaches the Fibula to the Talus. As in ripped it from the bone. I split the tendon that goes along the outside of the ankle. As in it caught on the bone as it twisted and actually split in half. And, there is so much swelling inside the joint and a blood clot in there that he wants to clean it out. He said any of the three, he would put me in a hard cast and let it heal. With all three occurring, I'm having surgery. Yes, surgery.

11/22, I will go for my pre-op testing. 11/30 is surgery at Dublin Hospital. Outpatient. Scott is taking the day off so that he can be there with me. Then on 12/6, they will put me in a hard cast. That should be about a week. Then I will transition through various support devices until I can walk without anything. The non-weight bearing part will be 4 weeks. Unless I walk on it, in which case, that will be extended.

So, I am borrowing a wheelchair from a friend and there is a shower chair in the Hartman family. I need to find out how to rent one of those knee scooters.

And, of course, there is another trip to Florida occurring during that time period. I am hoping to be in a removable cast by then. I will definitely still be non-weight bearing, but able to take a shower without sticking my foot out would be nice.

I have thought many times that this could have been so much worse. It could be my driving leg. It could have laid me up in the hospital for a long time. It could have been my head. And, if I still weighed 400 pounds I probably would have done even more damage.

So, am getting along as well as can be expected. Will enjoy my last week of being able to walk. Am fighting hard to stay positive. I tend to wallow whenever I think about it. But, it will all work out.

Hormones!!!

I am so done with my daughter's hormones. Grrr...!!! I try so hard to be the good mommy. There are times I just can't keep my mouth shut!! Now she is yelling at me that I'm picking fights with her. And "she knows how to win these fights, but that just gets her grounded." Is it really winning then?

Sept 27 - 278.2

I have less than 100 pounds to lose!!! Woohoo!!!

I decided I really needed to go buy a new pair of pants. I had three pairs that fit. All three are Capris. One is a jeans capri with no pockets. The other two are very light cotton. Way too cold for this weather!!! I don't think we hit 60 today.

So, I drove down to Kohl's. Wasn't sure what size I was going to get. I was thinking 24. I know the size 26 shorts my friend had given me were too big. And my one pair of capris is a 22/24, but they were crinkle, so would stretch out a little.

I took a couple pairs of 24s to the dressing room. Didn't like the way they fit. They seemed to be a little loose. So, I tried some 22s. There was one pair I really liked. I wasn't crazy about the color (it's kind of a steel grey/green) but I really liked the fit. So, I went back to look for a different color. I checked the style info and discovered that it was a size 20!!! Wow!!! Unfortunately, they didn't have another color. So, I have a new pair of pants (for $30) of a not too great color. But they fit great and they are MUCH smaller than anything I have worn in a LONG time!!! Very exciting!

I still need to be exercising. Scott mentioned yesterday that he is impressed at how little sagging I have on my butt and thighs. I seem to be absorbing that just fine. It's my upper arms and abdomen that really need work. I was doing a little reading on the internet about excess skin from quick weight loss. Even the most severe excess skin still has fat attached to it. So, as long as you increase lean muscle mass and decrease fat, you will lose the excess skin. Yes, there are exceptions (aren't there always?). But, in general. So, I seem to be losing it fairly evenly all over. But, when I was at my heaviest, I didn't have a single problem area. I was a well proportioned fat. So, it's appropriate that I lose proportionately.

At least it seems like I am getting down to a muffin top rather than a loaf top!!! :)

Welcome to any new readers I have! Dr. Myers posted my blog on his website. My whole goal for this blog is to be brutally honest with myself. And, therefore, with you. Feel free to ask questions. Reviewing helps me remember where I am and why I'm here. Talking about my journey with someone else helps me stay focused. My final decision to definitely have the surgery was the best thing I have ever done in my life.

September 26, 2010 - 279.0

Woohoo!!! I have less than 100 pounds to lose!!! 96 days left in 2010 and I have lost 116 pounds. Wow. If I could average a pound a day, I'd be 3 pounds away from my goal by New Year's!!! Isn't going to happen, but kind of neat to think about!!!

I need to focus on the fact that I need to be at my goal by March 30, 2011. Most of the excess weight you are going to lose, you lose in the first year. So, I want to be at 180 by then. Only 99 to go!!! "only"

I have definitely slowed way down. Yesterday I had two of my protein shakes, a piece of pizza, and a bowl of Cub Scout Cheddar Cheese Popcorn. Well balanced day!! At least I had two protein shakes in there! And I did have water and Fuze to drink during the course of the day.

Busy day yesterday. Was at a Girl Scout Camporee. Taught 100 girls Archery in 3 hours. Wow. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. But, it was fun. And my girls all had a good time. Which is even more important. And, my girls showed that they are really maturing. Four of them noticed that the canoeing person needed help stacking her canoes, so they stopped and helped. Didn't know the woman. Just saw she needed help. Awesome!!! And, the whole troop helped younger girls all day. And enjoyed it! Yay!!! So, we are counting this as time towards their Leadership Pin. They need 25 hours total, so this will be 8 hours for them. And, they earned an Interest Project patch for the day. yay!!! We're up to two earned!!! Since fall of 2009. :)

September 23, 2010 - 283.7

Had my 6 month appt with Dr. Myer. Wow. Can't believe it has been 6 months! And I've lost 112 pounds! Woohoo!!! Now to lose another 100.

Been going to the gym. My schedule does not always work well for that. But, am doing the best I can. This week, we went on Monday. Wednesday, late start messed me up. And Friday, I am manning the garage sale. I hate garage sales. But, we need money. And I'll be selling Cub Scout popcorn. :)

Scott told me the other day something that had me in tears. I knew he was worried about me, but we never talked about it. He said: "6-8 months ago, I was crying myself to sleep wondering what I would do when you were gone. How was I going to handle the kids? How was I going to pay the bills when I don't even know where the passwords are for the accounts? I had no idea that our lives could change so much in 6 months. Everything is so much better. You are a better person. We are better."

Wow. If that doesn't make me realize how much my life has changed with losing 100 pounds, nothing does.

Pumpkin Muffins

I'm going to have to try these. They sound yummy!

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

Shelly's Pumpkin Protein Mini Muffins 

1 Egg, beaten
3 Tablespoons Milk
2 Tablespoons Sugar Free Pumpkin Torani Syrup 
1 Tablespoon Canola Oil
2 Tablespoons Pumpkin Puree (not pie filling)
3 Tablespoons Multigrain Pancake Mix (I use this)
2 Tablespoons Unsweetened Coconut
1 teaspoon Pumpkin Pie Spice
1 scoop Vanilla Protein Powder
Pinch salt

2 Tablespoons Shelly's Glazed Pepitas
1 batch of Shelly's Cheese Filling

Mix egg, milk, syrup, pumpkin and oil and combine thoroughly. In a separate bowl, mix pancake mix, coconut, spice, protein powder and salt. Tip dry into wet and stir till combined. Pour into a non stick 12 cup mini muffin panthat has been sprayed with Pam. 

Sprinkle with glazed pepitas (shelled pumpkin seeds) 

Bake at 350 for 10 minutes or till toothpick inserted comes out clean. Makes 12 moist, delicious, mini muffins. 

Allow muffins to cool slightly. Using a drinking straw poke a little hole in the center of each mini muffin and pipe Shelly's Cheese Filling inside.

Shelly's Glazed Pepitas

1 Tablespoon Sugar Free Torani Syrup (any flavor - I used SF Vanilla)
1/4 cup Pepitas (raw shelled pumpkin seeds)

Saute seeds and syrup in a pan stirring constantly for a few minutes till you hear popping. Remove from heat and cool. Top Pumpkin Muffins batter before baking.

Shelly's Cheese Filling

1/4 cup Ricotta Cheese
1 teaspoon Sugar Free Jello Cheesecake Pudding Mix, dry
2 teaspoons Sugar Free Vanilla Torani Syrup 

Mix till well combined. Spoon into a piping bag or a Ziploc that has the corner snipped off. Seal baggie with tape. Pipe into mini muffins. If you don't want to pipe it you can always slice them in half and smear it in the middle. This filling is also great on sliced apples. 

Hospitality turns tragedy to opportunity for retired OSU staffer

Hospitality turns tragedy to opportunity for retired OSU staffer

This article was originally published in February, but it is an amazing story that I never heard about. In honor of the horrific events of nine years, remember that a lot of good has come out of that tragedy. Each of us has the potential to make a HUGE difference in other people's lives. How will you make a difference?

No change

Well, I should say, no change in weight. I haven't lost any more pounds since I've started at the gym. However, I have seen a huge improvement in my treadmill use. I started out with a speed of 2.6 being about the best I could manage for a decent pace. Now, I go at 3.0 with an incline of 1.0. The 3.0 is about the fastest I can manage without having to jog (not ready to try jogging, yet) so I up the incline to make the pace more difficult. An incline of 1% doesn't seem like much, but it goes up in increments of 0.5, so I'm at the second increment. I'm impressed with myself!!!

I've been walking to and from school in the morning. Today we were able to walk in the afternoon, too, because the weather was so much cooler.

My mom asked how much I've lost. I told her just under 110. She said: Aren't you embarrassed to tell people that? I said: No, I'm quite proud of it! She said: I would be embarrassed.

What do you think? Should I be embarrassed? I'll happily tell everyone how much I've lost and how much I still need to lose and what my goal is. Yes, that means they can add things up and come to the realization that I let myself get to almost 400 pounds!!! That's the part that is embarrassing! Not that I've lost so much.

Anyway. I guess I just need to write that off as another mom thing.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend!!!

287.5 - August 28, 2010

I've lost half the weight I want to lose!!! I'm down 107.5 pounds and I want to loose another 107.5 pounds. Well, I'm still not 100% sure where my goal is exactly. 180 is where I was when I graduated from high school. The trainer that I worked with Friday said he didn't feel comfortable with me having a goal that I've never actually weighed during my adult life. That's a scary thought!!! I would love to be 150. Although I'm not sure that would work for my frame. My first MAJOR goal is to break 200. Then I will worry about the last 20-30 pounds. I think I'll know what will be good once I get down to there.

So, I joined a gym. I've actually been going, too! Friday I had a MAP test and RMR test done. MAP = Metabolic Assessment Profile. RMR = Resting Metabolic Rate. The idea is that I need to know how many calories my body needs just to function day to day (RMR) and the MAP test tells what zone I need to be in as far as Heart Rate to burn fat most efficiently. It was an expensive test, but I really feel like I need to do everything possible to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

So, what did I find out? My RMR is 1694. Which means I need to take in 1694 calories a day just to have my body function properly. So, each time I eat, I should take in 283 calories. And I should be eating 6 times a day. Wow. This is quite different from my current bad habit of eating one or two times a day and probably getting 500 to 800 calories in per day. In other words, I really need to be tracking my food intake. sigh. I don't like doing that. Although, it is easier now. There is no need to lie to myself. I don't eat much of anything that I'm not "allowed." I just have to actually do it.

I started a Fitness Journal. With back to school shopping, I picked up some extra single-subject spiral-bound notebooks and some composition notebooks. I love covering them to use. Of course, I usually lose them after a week or so. If my house was clean...

So, I took one of the composition notebooks and started writing down what exercise I have done. Since I've been walking to school most days, I was able to write that in. And my times at the gym.

I need to start another one that is my food journal. It's sad when part of why I don't get all my calories in on a weekend day is because I slept in so late I just plain don't have that many hours!!! I so enjoy sleeping.

I also bought the heart monitor watch that they recommended. I need to set up my account on the website. Then I have to figure out how to download the info. The one trainer said that I can transmit it by holding the watch near the speaker on the computer. Hmm... Need to test that one. Otherwise, they can download it at the gym or I buy a $60 port. Not doing that last one!!! I've spent way more than I should by now already!

Want to get in for water aerobics, but I'm on my period right now and that is no fun. And, on the schedule there isn't a good time. They do 9 or 9:30 am or 7 pm. I really need it to be between 10am and 1pm. Since I am home for the kids, my non-school hours are pretty much filled with their stuff. The only time that isn't true is scrapbooking. And I rarely take time for that, anymore. But, part of the problem I'm having there is that my space is such a mess. I need to get back to working on it a little bit each day. I was making progress. Then it stopped when we went on vacation. I haven't gotten back into it. Add it to the list!!!

294.6 - August 15, 2010

Wow. How exciting was that? I stepped on the scale and saw a number less than 295. That is 100.4 pounds lost!!! Since Feb. 16!!!

It has been a fabulous trip! Even when my food doesn't settle well, it has been worth it to see the numbers come down so quickly.

And, today, I joined LifeTime Fitness. A friend of mine goes there and needs a ride to be able to go more often. So, I will run up and pick her up and we will both work out. It will make sure that I go. I will go if I have made a commitment to someone else. But, commitments to myself, I break. Yes, this is something I frequently discuss with Marcy!!!

We went to the zoo today. Which was a lot of fun. Met friends there. It was really hot!!! But, still fun. The animals were actually pretty lively. Which helped.

Then we went to Bob Evans for dinner since the zoo was handing out free Kids Meal coupons. And our friends showed up!! Perfect!!! Very fun day.

Our water heater has not been working since Friday. Apparently the leak has soaked the pilot so badly, it won't light at all. So, we turn the water off entirely at night and when we are gone. Cold showers are NOT fun!!! Although I kept reminding myself that, at the zoo, I would have paid money for that cold water!! I survived. The kids are taking baths with some added microwaved water. It's no worse than swimming in a cold lake or pool.

Appreciate all the conveniences of life. We've been having issues with water and dishwasher and a good friend hasn't had air conditioning all summer. We are truly spoiled. Take a warm shower and be thankful!

299.6 - August 11, 2010

Wow. I haven't seen a 2 as the first number on my scale in over 10 years. That is so exciting!!! Unfortunately, I haven't been exercising because I have a nasty head cold. I bet it is related to it being so hot and humid out and going in and out of air conditioning. Every day I've run errands. Post office, library, bank, etc. AC in the van. Hot outside. AC in the building. No wonder my head feels like it's going to explode.

Slept today from about 5-11. Now I'm up. Great. Sadly feel like I could go back to sleep pretty quickly.

Have a lot to do. Have training tomorrow night for Girl Scouts. Need to finish prepping the Registration packets before training. Then have a Girl Scout Service Unit Team meeting the next night. Meeting a friend for lunch tomorrow. Chinese. Yumm.

Need to start walking. Want to walk Lizzie over to Weaver to show her how easy it is. Don't want to be driving her much this year. Want to walk to Avery so that when school starts it'll be easy to walk Alex there. Humidity still knocks me on my butt.

Oh, well. This, too, shall pass. We have a working bathtub in the kids' bathroom (has been out of commission for close to a year) and our new dishwasher is only leaking a little bit. We need to shop for a new water heater, though. sigh.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Spent the day at the City Museum in St. Louis. Very cool. Lots of climbing and walking. I have definitely been doing more exercise than usual!! Of course, I also don't have a scale, so I will be surprised when I get home. I'm really hoping that I find that I am below 300.

I'm planning to start walking over to Avery once a day, too. When school starts I want to walk Alex in the mornings. And after school. It's a little over a mile round trip. Almost 1.5 miles. And I can easily extend the walk to 1.5 each way by taking the long way around. Need to start doing that every day. And, using my Wii Fit. I'm already really tired of my arm wings. They are only going to get worse!!! I need to work on getting rid of them by exercising!!!

Definitely the easiest way to eat on vacation is to share someone else's food. Tonight we went to an Italian place. Scott got linguini with seafood. I took about 1/2 cup worth with several bits of seafood and that was what I ate. I was full without feeling that too full issue. Usually I try to order my own thing and then have leftovers. Duh. Not easy on vacation!! Although this hotel room has a microwave and refrigerator. Very handy!!

Tomorrow we are going up in the Arch and going to the zoo. More walking!! I've been packing a book so that I can rest when I need to. Still working my way up on my stamina. I know I'm doing tons better than I have in the past. But, I still tire. Only 4 months out. Still healing. But, still want to lose at least 120 pounds, too.

304 - in Chicago!

We drove to Chicago on Thursday. Stopped for lunch to visit Jenna in Fort Wayne. You know, it's amazing how good friends can not see each other for a year and connect like we talk every day. We went to a really neat rec area and just sat and visited over some Arby's. We were potentially going to play mini golf, but we had such a nice time visiting in the beautiful breeze, that we never got to it.

Friday, we went to the Field Museum and Adler Planetarium. Awesome!!! Went to the Underground Adventure and the Egyptian Exhibit at the Field. Very cool. The kids and I had been to the Underground Adventure before, but it was new to Scott. And the Egyptian Exhibit is always amazing.

Dinner - we texted a friend to figure out where the Giordano's was. I don't know why I can't remember where it is. It is probably my favorite place to eat. It was an hour & a half wait. So, we went to the Foodlife Food Court in the basement of Water Tower Place. Very cool. A food court concept with tons of choices. Everyone gets a "credit card" when they enter and you go to the station of your choice to get your food. Lizzie had lasagna, Alex had soup, Scott and I had Chinese. The kids had unlimited soda. :) They were happy. Really neat idea. Overwhelming at first, but very cool once you get used to it.

Saturday was Lincoln Park Zoo and the Lego Games Tour. They had life-sized versions of some of their games. We all enjoyed playing Race 3000, Ramses Pyramid, and Minotaurus. And, I got us signed up for a tournament on stage at 5:30. We walked around the zoo and enjoyed it. It is an amazing zoo. Especially since it is free!! Then we took the bus over to Giordano's for lunch. Hour & 15 minute wait. Good pizza. Of course I can only manage about half a piece because it is stuffed with tons of cheese. So, we have leftovers for whenever that fits in.

My parents were in by the time we got back. Missi had a fabulous dinner for us and then we played Tripoley while the kids enjoyed cable and computer time. I had forgotten how much fun Tripoley is. We definitely have to get the kids to play it.

Sunday, we had crustless quiche with spinach, roasted red pepper, and feta cheese. YUMMM! And fruit salad. Then Missi and Alex went to Despicable Me while the rest of us went to Billy Elliot. Broadway show. Very good. Then back to Missi's for tacos. Yum. But, I went too long without eating and without protein and was not feeling well. Took a nap after dinner. M&D, Scott & Missi played Triple Play. Which worked fine.

Today, I made sure I started with a protein shake. As good as breakfasts have been, I really need to be having my protein shake. I do better when I start the day with protein.

We are doing the Skydeck on the Willis Tower/Sears Tower. Then we are going to Shedd Aquarium. May do the Water Taxi in between. Need to figure out lunch. I'm also packing my trail mix so that I can snack on that. (it's almonds, pistachios, craisins, and dried blueberries - a little salty, but high in protein)

Aren't you all proud of me that I'm blogging from Chicago?!! Can't seem to manage it when I'm home, but I find time when in Chicago.

July 28 - 308.8

Had a fabulous time last night with Sycamore Class of 84 (and 84 1/3) at  LaRosa's pizza in Cincinnati. One of our classmates was in from Maryland visiting family, so we all got together for pizza. Had a blast!!! So much laughing!!!

But, I realized something this morning. I did not have nearly enough protein yesterday!!! I feel hung over. I'm tired. My stomach is churning. I have diarrhea. (I know you wanted to hear that!) So, I'm drinking my protein shake today.

My favorite pizza at LaRosa's (best pizza in the world!!!) is thin crust cheese. So, it wasn't horrible, but I usually try to have a meat on my pizza to help with the protein. And, I definitely handle carbs better when I have protein on board. I didn't have my shake yesterday. In fact, I'm trying to remember what I actually ate. Not much. I think I may have had some leftover popcorn. Not good!!!

And, yes, I drove 3 hours round-trip for dinner with friends. It was so worth it, though!!! Then I stopped at Office Depot because they had some fabulous school supply sales. Spent $10 and got about $30 worth of stuff. We don't have an Office Depot up here. The closest one is Marion. Not!!!

Then I walked Alex's friend home and sat and talked to his family for about 2 hours. Back home at midnight. Then had to finish a book that Lizzie is waiting on (had to!!), so about 2am. That could be part of the hung over feeling. :)

Leave for Chicago tomorrow. Then St. Louis. It's going to be a GREAT vacation!!!

July 20 - 310.2

I should have known I would be bad at blogging. Oh, well. Bear with me!!! Summer is hard because everyone is home. It's hard to hang out on the computer when three other people are waiting for it and there's lots to do.

Swim Team was great. Alex improved greatly over the five weeks. He received the Most Improved for his age group. Great experience and I think he will do it again next summer. So good for him!!! He didn't really like the meets. Too much sitting around. But he liked receiving ribbons!

Girl Scout Camp went very well. I ended up doing half days. The week was VERY hot and I just can't handle the heat. It was much easier to go up hills and to walk, in general. But the heat killed me. My stamina needs work!!!

The following week was Zoo Camp for Lizzie and Cub Scout Camp for Alex. I drove Lizzie to the zoo each morning and Scott went to camp with Alex. We were supposed to trade off, but I couldn't hack the heat. Monday of that week was our last Swim Meet, so Alex missed camp that day. Lizzie had a great time and got to spend the night on Thursday. Very cool experience. I was planning to walk the zoo a bit after dropping her off, but the schedule never worked out. Figures. Scott and Alex had a decent week. Cub Scout Camp is horribly disorganized. It amazes me. I don't know how they function. But, I'm not getting involved!! Too much else on my plate!!!

I also have not been exercising. I have a very hard time getting myself to do it on my own. When I was going to McConnell, it was great. But I don't have any appts, so it is a matter of getting myself there. I just don't make it a priority. How do I change that mental setting??? I may join Lifetime and go with my friend. She would need a ride, so we could set up days and times and then I'll have that schedule to follow. And someone else counting on me.

Work has continued to be problematic. We had a project finally, but it ended up falling through because of complete idiocy on their part. Very frustrating!!! There is another project in the pipeline, but it's hard to get too excited now that this has happened multiple times. If nothing comes through, I'm going to have to sub. We are so tight money-wise. I've made next to nothing this year. sigh.

I continue to be totally happy with my weight loss surgery. I still eat too much sometimes and have to "make a return on my deposit" as one friend calls it. I don't each much in any given day. I haven't done a whole lot with making sure I get a balanced menu each day. I kind of fly by the seat of my pants. I aim for 100 grams of protein a day and try to limit to about 100 grams of carbs a day. Don't worry about much else. Due to the malabsorption, I don't absorb most of the fat I eat. But, I do try to keep things low fat, too.

Yesterday:
Breakfast - Carnation Instant Breakfast plus one scoop of protein powder - yummy chocolate!!! Blended with ice and water.
Lunch: Protein bar
Dinner: Fake crab meat cut up with a little ranch dressing and 5 crackers.

I also went to the store and got more bananas. I like throwing a banana in my shake. I usually eat a little more during the day than I did yesterday. But not a whole lot. It's easy to skip eating when it's hot. Which is not good for me. But, ...

Saturday, I was scrapbooking all day. Had my shake for breakfast. Got a Shrimp Chimichanga for lunch. Ate the inside, about half of the shell, and a couple bites of guac/rice/tomatoes/lettuce. Dinner was Chicken Salad with Cashews and Grapes from Giant Eagle Deli and about two cups of fruit from the salad bar.

I look at my balance of food over several days rather than in a whole day. :)

I also registered for the Jingle Bell Run/Walk!! It supports the Arthritis Foundation. It is December 4. I shouldn't have a heat issue! I'm really excited. It will be the first 5K I've ever done. I'm hoping it will help me get geared up to walk. I plan to walk once school starts. I need to walk to school in the morning when it is cooler. And then walk in the afternoon, too. It is about a half mile each way. If I can walk Alex to school and then work up to a longer trip home, I can do a mile to begin with and work up to longer every morning. Then another mile in the afternoon. Actually, just looked at the map. If I take the longer way home, it is just shy of a mile. Huh. I guess it is about .75 miles each way. Cool! It'll be easier to work up to 3.1 miles than I thought!!! I wouldn't mind doing a couple of 5Ks a year. Who knows? Maybe I'll even work up to jogging!!! Not sure my knees will every be able to handle that much. But, we'll leave that open!!

So, I've lost 85 pounds. It was a real eye opener when I took the kids to the pediatrician's office and found that Alex weighs 71. So, imagine me walking around with my son hanging on my back. Plus me carrying a 10 pound bag of cat food. No wonder my knees always hurt!!!

My next goal is to lose 10 pounds before Chicago. We leave July 29. I would love to be in Two-ville before leaving!!! And hit 100 pounds lost while we are gone!!!

We are going to Chicago for a week and then going to St. Louis. You know, since it's on the way home. NOT!!! I just decided that we needed to go somewhere we've never been during our vacation. So, in Chicago, we are staying with my sister and my parents are flying up. We will go to the Lincoln Park Zoo, Shedd Aquarium, Lego Discovery Center, etc. Lego even has a summer tour for their new line of games that will be in the Lincoln Park Zoo while we are there. I can't believe how we lucked out!!!

St. Louis will be the Arch, zoo, aquariums, Clydesdales, etc. They have lots of free things. Everyone says they are very family friendly. Not worried about food at all. Alex and I have swapped meals a few times. He orders a kid's meal and I order what he wants. Then we switch! Or Scott and I can share. And, I will take my shake mixes and extra protein bars to supplement.

My only concern is energy. And that is helped by keeping my protein up. So, I'll focus on that and having fun!!!

One last thing - a very dear friend of mine had her surgery this morning. RNY, same as me. Her husband called and she is out of surgery and in recovery. So far, all is good. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers for a successful recovery and strength on her journey.

June 9

First Swim meet done!! Woohoo!!! Stood the WHOLE time. Was helping out by timing. Which was a good thing, but it was very long and tiring. And I had a good workout at McConnell Health Center this afternoon. Which just led to me being even more tired. My back and neck hurt. Probably not standing with good posture.

But, so far, it has been a good summer. All two days of it. Yesterday we went to the bowling alley. We got in on a Groupon for $42, we can bowl every day for one hour, up to 6 people including shoes. From June 1 through the end of August!! So, we need to go bowling a couple of times a week!!!

I have not gotten into exercising, yet. Which is bad. I need to. I have no problems getting over to the gym when I have an appt., but not other times. And, I have an Airdyne at home, so I have no excuse. Marcy and I are working on it. Something is not clicking for me. I should be doing SOMETHING every day. I've been having great weight loss but that needs to be accompanied with exercise to get rid of my wings and when the weight loss slows down, the exercise will keep the momentum.

As far as eating, I eat whatever I want. Pretty much. Don't do sugar. And try to limit the carbs. Stay away from bread. But, I can sit down with a couple of crackers or chips and salsa. Amazing how my portions are normal now. I no longer wolf down a sleeve of Townhouse crackers. I eat 5-7. And feel full. That's the best part. Actually feeling full. I'm very much a snacker. Which is not a good way to eat. But, it fits in our lifestyle. And, I'm snacking, but not grazing. I'm sure I get FAR fewer calories than I'm supposed to. Which is part of why I still don't have a lOT of energy. That and not exercising.

It is very nice, though, seeing people I haven't seen in a while. At the swim meet, I saw a woman I haven't seen since the Fall. She didn't recognize me. :) Then I saw another woman whom I haven't seen in probably 5 years. She didn't recognize me either!!! YAY!!! I still hate pictures of myself, but that will come.

June 7 - 325.7

Wow. I'm so bad at this whole blog thing!!! I will have to write more later. Need to take Alex to Swim Team practice. But, I was so excited at being almost 70 pounds lost that I had to post it!!!

May 23 - 337.1

Phew!! I'm whooped!!! The last people just left.

We hosted a get-together at our house. Lizzie was confirmed this morning at church, so my sister flew in from Chicago for the day. Since she was coming, we invited Scott's parents and his brothers and their families. I also invited two other families whose daughters were confirmed this morning, and four neighbor families.

Made enough food for an army. Cleaned all week. Deep cleaning - as in going through boxes of papers that had been there for quite a while. 

So, this morning, we are still sweeping and cleaning. Not sure what Scott did while I was gone all day yesterday but it wasn't cleaning the main portion of the house!!! Ended up tossing more stuff in my scrapbook space. Which is really bad since it was the area I never touched all week. But, the rest of the house looks far better than it has in probably two years.

I started going into my frantic bitch overdrive this morning and really bit my tongue so that I didn't yell at Scott. I'm the one who is home all week. Why didn't I get more cleaning done?

Scott said he actually liked the fact that I had gone into overdrive because for too long I've been far more of the attitude: Oh, well. It seems I'm definitely getting a little more spunk back. Finally.

But, we had 12 adults and 10 children here. All at the same time. They didn't eat nearly enough food!!! But, we had a good time. It was lots of fun and everyone enjoyed getting to visit. My kids got to see four of their cousins whom they don't get to see often. And a couple of the neighbor kids were here. 

And, now, I'm in the afterglow. Everything is cleaned up. Dishes are in the dishwasher. Food is put away. It's time to run the washer and go to bed! Yes, it is only 6pm. But, it's bed time!!!

And, I had absolutely no problems eating only what I should and could. Since I made most of the food, I pre-planned what I would eat and I stuck to it. Wasn't even tempted by the cut cookies my sister made and brought from Chicago, nor the brownies my mother-in-law made, nor the ice cream sundaes that we provided. I had a small bowl of Fat Free Cool Whip and was happy. 

May 19

Finally made it to McConnell Health Center to start my exercise program!! As part of Fresh Start, we get a 12 week membership to the Health Center. It is an amazing facility! I met with Monica and she walked me around and started me on a few pieces. I tried a recumbent step machine which wasn't too bad. The recumbent elliptical was bad. Got on the treadmill and the recumbent bike for a bit. About 20 minutes total exercise. My goal is to get over there 3x per week. Which can include classes. There are tons of classes I want to take!!! Yoga, water aerobics, etc. Can't wait! Need to get the schedule in here with my calendar and decide what I'm doing.

And, it'll be nice to be able to exercise in the air conditioning this summer. I'm still having issues with my humidity intolerance, so I'm not sure how I'll do outside. But, if I can do the Health Center 3-4 times per week and walk around the neighborhood with Scott in the evenings...

On Sundays, they have a family day. Usually a guest is $10. On Sundays, a guest is $5 and your kids are free. I can at least drag Scott there once a week. Doubt if I would actually take the kids.

I also have to start thinking forward to what I'm going to do as far as exercise after this program is finished. Will I join the Y again? Or another place? Or... Cost is an issue, of course. Convenience. Willingness to go. Location. Lots to think about!

May 16

349.3 Only 9 pounds away from being able to get on the Wii Fit!! Woohoo!!!

My manicure is awesome. It is a frequent reminder of how well I'm doing. I'll have to remember that for my 100 pound reward. Hmmm...

I'm definitely getting more energy. I've been cleaning. Focusing on self-contained places so there is a definite stopping point. But, I cleaned the refrigerator. Took each of the shelves out and scrubbed them down. This is not a common occurrence, so it took a while. But, it felt really good to finish it. Of course, Lizzie looked in and said: "Gee. Now it's obvious we have nothing to eat." Which it kind of was. I guess I need to work on some meals with leftovers that the kids will eat and enjoy.

I have been revising my eating. I stop to get something when I'm out. Then I can only eat a few bites. So I take a box to go. It's getting kind of frustrating. I really need to quit going places or only ordering a side dish. For example, Old Bag. I get the cup of clam chowder and I am nicely filled. So, this week, I tried the fish tacos. Well, I didn't realize she gave me the meal size rather than the appetizer size, which meant I got a side. I finished my cup of clam chowder and should have stopped. I took a couple of bites of the fish tacos and fought with keeping that down for the next several hours. I still somehow think I can eat more than I can. Went to Frisch's planning to get a side of something. Got an omelet. It was good. But, I couldn't eat much. So, that will be my lunch today. It would be better if I didn't stop at all, of course. But, I can't relax and read at home the way I can at a restaurant. Still need to work on that. Oh, Marcy!

Went through my pajamas and my underwear. Had a big stack of pjs to pass on. Only kept 3X and smaller.  And not even winter of 3X. Same with underwear. Boxed up my larger size and moving on to the next smaller size. And threw away any that were ripped. Not dealing with that!

I need to do different cleaning. My sister is coming in next Sunday for Lizzie's Confirmation. We're going to have a little party here to celebrate. I'm also going to celebrate Scott's graduation as part of it. So, I need to be focusing on the family room. My desk. The kitchen. My scrapbooking area. Basically the entire first floor. Instead I'm working on small areas of my bedroom. Each of the downstairs spaces feels too major to get into. I don't feel like I have enough energy to do the whole thing, so I don't even focus on a little part. Not good. Need to start working on that tonight. Maybe I will watch my Sunday night shows down here and work on some of these boxes of paperwork that are scattered around. That's the biggest problem in the family room. The boxes that all the stuff gets shoved to get it out of the way and then never get gone through. Imagine that!! If I just look at each box as self-contained, maybe I can make some progress.

We had to have a burial for one of the hamsters. The Teddy Bear hamster that we got from a teacher at Avery died. We figure he was between 4 and 5. Which is old for a hamster. And, he had a huge mass on his throat. But, he had a good life. He came to us with the name Carl Winslow and kept the name but was also called Fuzzy or Big Fuzzy. When he got out of his cage, he would end up behind the refrigerator with a stash of dog food. He was a great hamster. In the hamster races, he not only didn't place in the race, he rolled backwards a little bit. The World's Laziest Hamster. We miss you, Fuzzy!

I also need to get a new bra. As my body is shrinking, I've been tightening up my bra. Well, I realized that as you tighten your bra, it tightens the back, but it results in the front getting kind of spread apart. I feel like my boobs are heading for my underarms. Talk about lack of cleavage!! And, I'm sure I'm down in cup size. I used to be a D. I've been a C for a while. I may be down to a B at this point. Or at least on the small size of C. I'll never be flat, but I am definitely not as well endowed as I used to be!! And it isn't all just gravity! I probably need to go to a real lingerie store and get measured. I always hated that, but I need to be fitted properly.

Friday I had my 3 month appt with my general practitioner. The last time I was at this weight was in 2002. Wow. And, those were about the earliest records she has from me. The sad thing is that I still have clothes that are smaller than this. Which means I have clothes that I haven't been able to wear in 10 years. Huh. I guess that is a good thing. It's not like I've ever been so stylish that anything would be out of style. And, fewer clothes that I have to purchase! I'm wearing an outfit this morning for church that is a 3X. Can't remember when I last wore it. And it's very cute. Felt like new clothes!!

Well, I need to take my measurements and update that file. I haven't been doing a very good job of keeping track of those. And, I need to get exercising. I haven't really done anything other than a little bit of walking. Bad Wendie! Part of my new Life is to exercise on a regular basis. There is no way I can get down to my goal of 150 (180) without exercise. Oh, Marcy!!! :)

50 pounds GONE!!!

On Mother's Day, appropriately, I weighed 345 pounds. Which means I have lost 50 pounds!! Woohoo!!! I rewarded myself today. I got a manicure! I love having someone else massage my hands! It was wonderful. And it was only $22. Not bad!

May 2 - I need to lose an overweight person!

348.6
I just upated my ticker and saw that I "only" need to lose 198.6 pounds!! So, I went to look at a BMI Index chart. The amount of weight I need to lose now qualifies as an overweight person, not an obese person!! WOOHOO!!!

April 30 - Under 350!!!

I weighed in at 349.8 this morning. Woohoo!!! This was my first mini-goal I had set for myself. When I started at 395, it seemed like it would take forever. It has only taken 3.5 months or so. Not bad!!

I also no longer hurt!!! A friend who is a nurse thinks I may have had adhesions. (Abdominal adhesions are bands of tissue that form between abdominal tissues and organs. Normally, internal tissues and organs have slippery surfaces, which allow them to shift easily as the body moves. Adhesions cause tissues and organs to stick together.) Well, apparently, when I was so sick, I may have ripped them. Which is a good thing!! It hurt at the time, but I was already hurting, so no biggie! 


I woke up yesterday morning not hurting! I'm so excited. I feel so much better. I've lost just over 45 pounds. And I feel great! My normal clothes are pretty baggie. But I don't really want to do much about new clothes until I've gotten into an exercise routine. I'd love to wait until I lose another 50, but I think I would have to start tying a rope around my waist. The other thing is that I need to go through my closet and group my clothes by size so that I can transition into the next smaller size more easily. And I am pitching my 4X and 5X clothes!! Well, donating. I know that I have friends and my mother who will happily adjust any clothes I would like. But, I don't want to keep anything that is above a 3X. 


I guess, to me, normal stores carry 3X. 4X or 5X is really fat. Probably totally weird mental thing. But, I don't care!!! When I decide that a 4X or 5X is too big for me, it gets washed and put in the box. I have a feeling that, for a while, I will be taking those boxes to donate pretty frequently!!! Those will be happy days!!!


And, when my black knit pants are too loose, they are gone!!! That is all I wear!! I have like 7 pairs of them. I am sick of them. I want to wear real pants, again. It has been way too long!!!


And, tomorrow is NATIONAL SCRAPBOOKING DAY!!! Woohoo!!! I am scrapbooking 10am to midnight!! Woohoo!! And then watching the Kentucky Derby at 6pm. Yay!!! I love the first Saturday in May! Scott is taking the kids to the OSU Renaissance Festival. Fun for all!

April 28 - Bread = Bad

Bread is not a good thing. For some reason, I decided last night that a piece of toast sounded really good. Keep in mind that I'm supposed to only be eating pureed food, right now. So, I made two slices of bread. Not even good bread. My children won't eat high fiber bread so we only have cheap-o white in the house. Alex was happy because he walked in just as I finished it so I gave him one slice. I munched on the other slice while I prepared a smoothie. The toast was good. Not wow amazing, good, but good. I made a chocolate/banana/strawberry smoothie. Packet of high protein chocolate shake mix, packet of high protein banana shake mix, 1/3 cup dried non-fat milk for added protein, one banana, 4 strawberries. Yum!!! Took a couple of sips of the smoothie. Then poured half in a glass and put the rest in the frig for later or the next day. Went upstairs to relax for a while.

Started feeling a very tight sensation in my chest. Very tight. Had to go throw up. Well, apparently, the bread got stuck. Everything I took in after the bread came up. On the plus side, puking now is nothing like puking before. You just don't have enough stomach to do it. It is more a matter of helping it back up. So I got to do that for about 45 minutes. The only issue was that it hurt my side even more. So, I'm back to taking it very easy for a few days. I have to keep reminding myself I'm only 4 weeks out of major surgery. If I worked outside the home, I wouldn't be back at work, yet.

Otherwise, I'm doing very well. Having no problems staying away from sweets. I know they will make me sick. So, not even tempted. What I'm having cravings for is Diet Coke. But, knowing what the carbonation would do to my tiny tummy, I won't chance it. And, as my therapist says, when I actually can have it, a long time down the road, it will probably taste nasty!!!

April 21

I have not felt like blogging. I haven't felt like doing much of anything. I'm so tired. I'm sure it is because of my limited diet. It is hard to make sure I get everything in within a day when I'm only awake for a few hours!!!

But, the good news is that I'm doing great! I wasn't feeling like I was doing all that great. I've been grumpy and kind of depressed, honestly.

But, I had my three week appt with Dr. Myer on Monday. I am down to 355. Which is 22 since my pre-op appt and 40 since I made up my mind in January. Which is awesome!! They like to see 20 pounds at the three week appt. I'm at 22. Woohoo!!!!

But, I still was feeling kind of down because I feel like they play with the numbers a little since they say you've lost 22 pounds in three weeks! But, in actuality, I've lost 22 pounds in five weeks because they go by my pre-op appt which was 2 weeks before surgery. But, no matter how you look at it, I've still lost the weight and it's a good thing.

Last night I went to the monthly Bariatric Support Group. They asked for people to share their ah-ha moments since surgery. As I was listening and thinking I realized:

• I was on 8 medications before surgery. I'm on 2. One of those is thyroid and the other is my happy pill. I may never be off either of those. I have left behind 6 medications. In three weeks. WOW!!!
• My blood pressure at the doctor's on Monday was 109/68. That is off of all medications for blood pressure. Wow. 
• I seem to be losing shoe size. My shoes are loose. Well, I've had chronic swelling issues in my feet and ankles. Not anymore!!! I have ankles, again!!!
• I was at a meeting Monday night where we had a dessert buffet as an end of the year celebration. Not even tempted. To the point that I prepared a small plate for the kids and Scott. Didn't even lick my fingers. It rode home on the seat next to me. I was really proud of myself.
• I went to lunch yesterday at Old Bag of Nails with a friend. I had water and a cup of Clam Chowder. The server questioned my choice because she served me before and knew my regular order. I stood strong. I enjoyed it. I savored it. It filled me. My bill was $2.12. Wow!!! And it was a very enjoyable time!!

I need to focus on the positives. The leader of the group suggested that every night you think back on the day and see if there is anything to say congrats to yourself about. No matter how small. I am going to try do that. I also had not refilled my pills for the week yet. Just did an hour ago.

I am changing my life. In small ways and in big ways. I am refocusing my priorities. I have stepped up to a more involved position with Girl Scouts. I am in charge of registration for the Hilliard Service Unit. In addition to co-leading my troop. I am going to step down from PTO positions. I will be active in the schools, but there are so many parents out there who don't do anything and they need to get involved. I also am active with Cub Scouts. It's been hard saying no to things, but I have done it. I have to stay focused so I don't go back to how things were.

April 17

Going to Archiver's today!! Yay!! Get to work on Swap stuff with friends. And, I'm trying something new and kind of scary. Lizzie and her friend are going with me. They are going to roam around at the mall while I am cropping. The friend has a cell phone and the girls are being given specific guidelines on what they are and are not allowed to do. Should be fun for them.

I'm down to 365.7. At least I'm losing. And, I guess, since I've moved very little this week, that isn't bad. My side hurts every time I bend. It feels like it is ripping. No fun. But, I have a feeling that the only way I'm going to get past this is to start walking and working out and just work through the pain. I don't do well with pain. Oh, well. I need to move on so that I can work on this change.

I have been very good about saying no to things. I'm not going to be more involved with Swim Team than just at the meets and practices. However, I will be taking on a larger role with Girl Scouts. It will be a good thing, I think. I will the be Service Unit Registrar. So, I will take in the registrations for all of the troops in Hilliard. Only about 95 troops!! It'll be good. I know. I'm trying to convince myself, too. :)

April 13

Happy Birthday to my Mom. Not that she has the address to this blog. :)

Had an interesting discussion with my therapist this morning about my life and my inimitable ability to over commit myself. We discussed the fact that not only am I changing my life by this surgery, but I need to be changing my life in other ways, too. My daughter seems to feel that I never do anything with or for her. While we all know that isn't true, it is her perception. Maybe I need to be here a little more. To that end, I have decided I will not take a board position with the Swim Team. I will be an active mom. I will not commit to anything that requires time outside of practice or meets. Especially since they are wanting me to commit for next year! I don't even know if Alex will like being on Swim Team!!

I am also going to work on limiting my involvement in other things. I want to be an active and involved mom, but I need to limit my involvement to the actual activity rather than all the behind the scenes stuff. I will continue being the editor for my son's Cub Scout Pack's newsletter and I will continue to be my daughter's Girl Scout Leader. And, I have said that I will take on a larger role in our Girl Scout Service Unit. However, I am going to step back from PTO. I'll go to meetings. I'll help with events. I'm done, for now anyway, with being on the board. I have developed a reputation for always being involved. That's fine. But, I'm tired of being one of the few. I need to take time for myself and my family. And my friends. I am actually going scrapbooking for the day on Saturday. I haven't done that in ages!!! Of course, I will be working on swap items rather than actually scrapbooking, but that's okay. It'll be fun to hang out with some awesome people.

I'm having some definite pain where the drain was. Called the doctor's office and they said that it is normal. There is a large stitch in there and it is not unusual to feel as if it is ripping. It is actually healing. Okay! If you say so!!! In the meantime, I'm happy I didn't use up all my pain pills right after I got home. I'm using them now. Speaking of which, it's time to take another one and go to bed.

April 10

Down to 358. For some reason I thought it would come off a little quicker. But, I guess when I think about the fact that I've lost almost 40 pounds in 3 months, I have been doing pretty well. And I'm only at the beginning. At the three week mark, I'm supposed to start exercising. So, I will call to set that up next week.

I made some Cauliflower and Ham soup the other day. Very yummy!!! The only problem I have is that I can only eat about 4-8 ounces at a time. And, it is supposed to take me about an hour to eat that much. Yeah. I'm having problems going that slowly. If I eat too quickly, I get a way too full feeling. Haven't puked, yet.

Pushed way too hard yesterday. Slept in today until about 1:30. And was back in bed about 3. Very tired. And weak feeling. A double-edged sword. I was in bed so much that I didn't eat/drink much. Which means I've only taken in about 40 grams of protein so far. The soup ended up having about 27 grams per 8 ounce portion. So, I need to get in at least one more ProtiDiet before bed. Shouldn't be too hard. I was actually feeling hungry. First time in two weeks.

Had a meeting for Alex to join the Hilliard Swim Team. That'll be fun. It's only 5 weeks. He has his swim suit. Thankfully it is a thigh length one. I so did not want him to wear a speedo style!!! And a "friend" of mine volunteered me for the Treasurer position. Actually, I would work with the current one this year to step in next year. I wasn't really planning to take on anything too involved. Oh, well. Why not?

One week post-op

I have my one week post-op appt this afternoon. Hopefully they will pull the drain. It seems to be the only thing that really hurts at this point. Also, I haven't lost any weight, yet. Very frustrating!!! Need to ask what the deal is!!

On the plus side, I feel pretty good! In fact, I've been having bites of food. But, as my therapist talked to me about this morning. I need to be following the process. According the the plan, no solid food, yet. So, I need to be on no solid food. I'm on liquids right now which is basically my ProtiDiet drinks or some soup. At least with the ProtiDiet, I know I am getting my full grams of protein. I can totally see continuing to use those as a supplement for a very long time. When 8 ounces includes 15 grams of protein, it makes a big difference!!

I'm still struggling with getting enough water. When you can only take a sip at a time, it is hard. It's supposed to take me an hour to drink my 8oz ProtiDiet. An hour??? Wow. But, that is probably why I'm getting nausea still. sigh.

It's a long slow process. But, if I'm going to be successful, I need to take it long and slow.

Post Surgery!

Tuesday, March 30.
Scott dropped me off at the hospital about 8:30am. He needed to get over to school for his field trip. I checked in and sat down to relax for a bit. About 8:50, they called me back to start pre-op prep. I got into my lovely hospital gown and put on some beautiful white thigh highs. Then sat and waited. My friend who was to sit with me showed up which was awesome! I had someone to chat with! I had all the pre-op stuff like vitals taken and an IV started. The anesthesiologist stopped by to check my airway and if I had any removable dentures or anything. My surgeon, Dr. Myers, and his side-kick, Mike, stopped by to see how I was doing and to make sure I had followed my plan.

I was so thankful that D. was there. I had to wait with very few interruptions until about 11:30. That would have been so hard by myself!!!

They took me back into the surgery room. Put the mask on me and I was out. Don't remember much of that area!

Scott swapped with D. about 1:30 when he got there. He was there when I woke up. Although that is a general term. Not sure I actually woke up much on Tuesday. They didn't have a room ready for me until 7:30. Didn't bother me. :)

Wednesday (3/31) wasn't too bad. I was woken up for vitals and to walk. I was to make a lap of the corridor every two hours during the day and every four hours at night. Didn't make for very good sleeping! The hardest part was having to drink 1 ounce of water every 15 minutes. It doesn't sound like all that much, but it is when your stomach is only about an ounce or two big!!

Dr. Myers and Mike stopped in to check on me. The nausea was to be expected. It will pass. sigh.

I had a terrible time with nausea. Dry heaves mainly. When all you're taking in is water, you don't have much to get rid of. But it hurts!!! And, of course, the pain medication increases the nausea feeling.

A couple of my friends came to visit on Wednesday evening. Fabulous! I love having visitors! Sadly, the first set came while I was dry heaving. Then I got another round of anti-nausea and pain medication. That was the first time I really felt nausea free. I don't know if it was the energy of having friends around or what. But I turned a corner at that point. Scott brought the kids over to see me for a few minutes, too. Didn't stay long but it was good to see them.

Thursday was more of the same. Less nausea. More walking. Was tired of sitting in bed. Reinforced my knowledge that there really is nothing decent on cable.

Scott came about 5pm to pick me up. Wow. What an incredible day!!! It was gorgeous out!! I had been able to see the sunshine, but I didn't realize how nice it was.

So happy to sleep in my own bed. The kids and the dog were ecstatic to see me. Got through the emails and went to bed.

Friday, 4/1. Slept in a bit. I had prepared my ProtiDiet drinks for the day the night before. They each have 15 grams of protein. You mix with water for about 6 ounces. Drink 5 a day. I can actually start adding in puree level foods. Anything that rolls off a spoon like milk. I think I will stick with the ProtiDiet for now. It's hard enough to get 5 of those in per day. Plus extra liquid. Not being able to drink more than a swallow at a time makes it very difficult to drink 64 oz in a day.

Saturday, 4/2. Finally up to sitting long enough to update my blog!! My lower back hurts. I think from laying on it so much. I can't lay on my side. My stomach slides and that hurts.

I had an anesthetic pump in me that I removed this morning. It was a ball about the size of a tennis ball that was full of liquid and it was connected with tubing into a hole in my abdomen. It constantly pushed anesthetic in to decrease the pain at my incisions. Then I had a fanny pack that carried the ball. Kind of weird, but worked well. Pulled it out this morning. Weird. There was about a foot of tubing inside.

I still have the drain in my side. That will be removed at my one week post-op appt. I wish I had taken the office number with me to the hospital so that I could have called from there to make the appt. By the time I got home on Thursday and called, they were closed. And they were closed on Friday, too. Oh, well. It'll work out.

My back and tummy tell me it's time for a nap!!! I sat out on the deck for a bit earlier. Nice sunshine!!!

Vena Cava Filter Placed

Was at the hospital at 6am for my Vena Cava Filter Placement. It is placed.

The procedure went well. Everyone was very helpful and friendly in every location. Very careful to tell me what was going on before they did it. Was finished and out the door by 10:30. Awesome! Like the McConnell Heart wing. Very nice.

They didn't put me out. They gave me a relaxer, which was very nice. :) They go in through the right groin, so they got that area all prepped. Then the doctor came in. He numbed the immediate area and did all the poking and prodding that was necessary. They took a picture of my new passenger and we were done. It took about 45 minutes.

So, I have a picture to scrapbook! Woohoo!!

I just have to be careful on steps for the rest of today. No biggie!

Tomorrow is the big one!

Sunday night

Almost there! I slipped again yesterday. Scott had taken the kids to Troy while I was at an Archery Recertification class. I then met him to pick up the kids so he could go game with the boys. Well, he had purchased a bucket of KFC in Troy and brought most of it home for leftovers for the kids. Oh, man. Lizzie was laughing at me because I was moaning as I ate a piece. It was amazing!!! I had two pieces. Including skin and coating. But, what do you do? I stepped up the fluid intake after that. I had 96 ounces by the end of the day.

Today I had to start taking acetylcysteine every 12 hours. It is to protect my kidneys during the vena cava filter placement tomorrow. They use a dye that can hurt the kidneys. The stuff is nasty!!! Smells VERY STRONGLY of rotten eggs. Worse than rotten eggs!!! Taste isn't horrible, if you can get over the smell. So, I take it really fast and chase it with a cold drink. Of Crystal Light. Then it makes me feel funny.

I am just looking forward to the next step in the process. I am pretty sure I have all my ducks in a row. Kids are taken care of when needed. Scott has the schedule. We're all good!  I almost wish I could just stay at the hospital tomorrow so I wouldn't have to deal with everything else in between!! It's a lot easier when they control everything. Oh, well. I guess that's the issue. I have to be in control.

Day 11

Amazing what happens when I follow the plan 100%. Wednesday I was 370.2. Thursday I was 368.4. Today I am 364.1. Wow.

I'm getting really nervous about it. I'm starting to have weird dreams related to being in the hospital. I guess it's only natural!!!

Day 10

I have been doing great on this. Yes, I've slipped up a little. I'm not going to beat myself up about it. 

Yesterday I had a lunch meeting. I had thought about trying to not order anything at the restaurant. And, yes, I'm sure I could have. But, I really didn't want to!!! So, I checked out their menu online. They had a couple of options I thought might work. I opted for the Tilapia. Of course, it comes with a lovely cream sauce and a couple of high carb sides. So, I got just the Tilapia. Waitress didn't even bat an eye. 

It was so yummy!!! I figured it was about 2 servings, so I let it replace two of my shakes for the day. Drank lots of water. And, lost weight!! Woohoo!!! It was a good example of what I will be doing later. And, we didn't get our usual basket of sweet potato fries which helped all of us!!

I'm so excited about getting this done. Looking forward to it!!!

Day 8 - Half way!

This is hard. Food is the hardest addiction because you can't quit cold turkey. I've been doing really well. I had a slip up at the movie theater on Sunday. I should have known better. I had Scott get popcorn so that I could have just a little bit. Next thing I know I'm mindlessly munching on popcorn. I should have known I couldn't have just a handful.

I'm going out for a work lunch on Wednesday. I keep trying to walk through what I'm going to do. I think I can have like a breadless sandwich. Just do the meat and cheese. But, on the other hand, I'm getting so close, do I want to risk messing things up? But how am I going to sit in the restaurant and not eat something? I haven't lost anything since I ate the popcorn. But, I also started my period. Could just be that. I need to up my water intake. Already drinking at least 64 ounces a day. Added 16 more yesterday. Need to do that every day. Need to not eat. So hard. But I know it will be worth it after.

If it was easy, everyone would be thin!

That frustrating stall...

Found this on another site. Thought it was very interesting. Haven't checked into it any further, but I thought I would share, anyway!!

"A "stall" a few weeks out is inevitable, and here's why.

Our bodies use glycogen for short term energy storage. Glycogen is not very soluble, but it is stored in our muscles for quick energy -- one pound of glycogen requires 4 lbs of water to keep it soluble, and the average glycogen storage capacity is about 2 lbs. So, when you are not getting in enough food, your body turns first to stored glycogen, which is easy to break down for energy. And when you use up 2 lbs of glycogen, you also lose 8 lbs of water that was used to store it -- voila -- the "easy" 10 lbs that most people lose in the first week of a diet.

As you stay in caloric deficit, however, your body starts to realize that this is not a short term problem. You start mobilizing fat from your adipose tissue and burning fat for energy. But your body also realizes that fat can't be used for short bursts of energy -- like, to outrun a saber tooth tiger. So, it starts converting some of the fat into glycogen, and rebuilding the glycogen stores. And as it puts back the 2 lbs of glycogen into the muscle, 8 lbs of water has to be stored with it to keep it soluble. So, even though you might still be LOSING energy content to your body, your weight will not go down or you might even GAIN for a while as you retain water to dissolve the glycogen that is being reformed and stored."